bronwyndee

Measurements

Measurements from February 2010:
Neck: 15”
Arm: 12.5”
Bust: 42.5”
Upper Waist: 35.5”
Low Waist (belly button): 39”
Hips: 42”
Thigh: 25”

Measurements from March 2010:
Neck: 15”
Arm: 12.5”
Bust: 42”
Upper Waist: 35”
Lower Waist: 38”
Hips: 41”
Thigh: 24”

Measurements from May 2010:
Neck: 14.5”
Arms: 11.25”
Bust: 41” 
Upper Waist: 34.75”
Lower Waist: 37”
Hips: 40.75”
Thigh: 22”

Total Inches Lost: 14.5 INCHES

Realization

I had never really thought about what Julie said in her blog earlier about why people gain the weight back… I guess I always just attributed it to lack of will power and love of overindulging. I really did think that was the reason I always gained the weight back.

I never thought it could be because I was still unhappy on the inside.

I think Julie’s pledge is so heartfelt and it made me realize that I need to work on that too.
I’ve always had this negative body image and I know its why I always had such terrible confidence and self esteem. For the longest time when someone would give me a compliment, I would get really uncomfortable and say something jokingly negative about my body in return. 
Because of my negative self image, I need to work on fixing my mentality, too. My mind needs to catch up with the progress I’ve made and will make in the future… I feel like I am a little better at taking a compliment, like when people at work tell me how great I look, I try to just thank them and be done with it- but I am always a little awkward and a little uncomfortable. Even the other day when Mackenzie said, “HOLY CRAP, you have lost so much weight” I said, “Yeah… haha… Well, I still have a long way to go.”
I’m going to work on taking compliments to heart. I want to appreciate those compliments and just be able to say thank you. I have to start realizing after all this hard work, I DESERVE compliments. And because of all that hard work I will learn to love my body during this process and I’m going to work on making my negative body image go away.

It will be so weird to have a different body- I mean, it’ll be the same body- but it won’t look like the body I have always known and hated.
I wonder what it’ll be like to not pick apart what I see in the mirror…
I wonder what it’ll feel like NOT to be self conscious about how fat I am ALL THE TIME…
I have always worried about my back looking fat when I wear a tight shirt, my stomach fat hanging over my jeans when I sit down, how my legs jiggle when I walk, which angle I need to stand to look thinner in pictures, how to smile to make my double chin look less huge, what jeans I need to buy to look less top heavy, how I need to wear my hair to make my face look thinner, what shirts I need to wear to hide the fat around the hole where my belly button is (you know what I mean- I HATE THAT! LOL!)… etc. 
I won’t have to worry about that anymore- have you thought about that?
Everything about my whole life is going to change…
I haven’t really thought about that…
::tear::

…I am ready.

Change the way you think: MINDSET.

I think weightloss is all about ONE thing. Mindset!
Once you have the right mindset you are unstoppable! I think anyone can lose weight for good- they just need to be motivated enough and ready to make a huge change. I wasn’t ready until now because I’ve struggled with it my whole life. I signed up at caloriecount.com to track what I eat and to manage my calorie intake and output… I also weigh in weekly on youtube within the weightloss community with my best friend for accountability.
Well, to make it short- (this is my 4th month so I’ve become more strict) CURRENTLY, I’m eating a calorie restricted (1300 daily), low fat, non-processed diet. I run about 2.5miles, 4-6 times a week… I still have a long way to go, but baby steps!

I am loving ever minute of this journey!

Every Great Story Needs a Beginning…

… Here is mine: The day I woke up and really started living.

February 14th, 2010. I was at work. Sitting in the office at the hotel contemplating eating yet another candy bar from the market. I had started this terrible habit of indulging in something sweet after dinner around 9pm, 5 days a week. It didn’t start out that way, but it had become an every night thing. After dinner, I would indulge a little more and more and more… and before I knew it I had put on even more excess weight on top of the weight I already knew I needed to lose. I was tipping the scales just below 200 pounds. I was miserable, completely unconfident, and overall just FAT. I’ve always held my weight really well, but at this point anyone could seriously tell I needed to lose a few pounds.

On this slow night at work, as I was debating which kind of candy bar to eat, something incredible happened. I thought to myself for one split second, “I wish I could say no. I wish I could be thin.” My fingers took over on the keyboard and youtube came up. I typed in the words, “How to lose weight.” In that one second, everything changed.

ANTISHAY came on the screen. I clicked and my eyes were opened. The veil had been lifted.  It was divine intervention, I SWEAR. I had stumbled upon a video blog kept by a girl named Shanti. She had the same story- struggling with weight loss her entire life. She was my same age, my same weight… I mean, I really saw myself in HER. I sat there and watched video after video after video… Weigh in’s and tips and problems she faced and weight loss and weight gain… I instantly knew, I could do this too.

Immediately, I called Julie. I told her everything: my new found inspiration, how sick I was of being FAT, how depressed I was, how serious my addiction to food was… She told me everything she was dealing with: having a baby and all the weight that came along with it, trying to lose weight, frustration with food… We both knew we were completely unhappy with our bodies. From there, a plan was formed. We created our own vlogs on youtube and started down this completely unknown path to achieve healthy weight loss and get this excess weight off our bodies and MAINTAIN a healthy lifestyle and weight for the rest of our lives.

We haven’t turned back since.

At 193 pounds, I decided I was not going to be fat anymore. I decided I was done. Today, I have lost 22.5lbs. We’ve had about 12 weigh in’s and now, I weigh 170.5lbs. I am nearing the lowest weight I have EVER been in my adult life. And I couldn’t be more proud of myself and confident in the fact that I will get to goal.

So, how the hell am I doing this? ALONE? Without crazy diets and spending everyday in the gym for hours? Honestly, I am still in shock about this whole thing. For a while, I really had felt like I just WILLED the weight off my body. I mean, I did give up most of my bad habits, I have broken my addiction to food (which is my biggest accomplishment), and I have started to become athletic. I now CRAVE healthy food and I CRAVE running. This whole journey has been such a positive, rewarding, educational, experience. I can barely believe how far I have come. I ate healthy and moved my body and positive changes just happened!

I remember when mom and I did weight watchers, we did lose the weight. The famous claim to weight watchers is that it teaches you healthy and responsible eating habits. We would lose the weight and then stop the program because of whatever reason. We thought we could complete it on our own I guess, I mean- if they claim to teach you such healthy eating habits, then we had learned all we needed to and we could complete it on our own and get to goal. Eventually, we lost the willpower and gained all the weight back, plus some. ALL 3 times resulted in the same damn thing: unsustainable success.

During my first go with weight watchers, I achieved my lowest weight in my sophomore year of high school. I found myself at roughly 167 lbs. Since then I have been NO WHERE NEAR that weight. I would attempt to lose weight, get to about 179 and stop. I don’t know why- lack of motivation, I guess. I feel like I wasn’t really ready to commit. You know? Its a huge mindset change and if you aren’t really ready- it won’t happen. Until you have that mindset shift, it never will.

I’m only a few pounds away from my lowest weight ever and I will get much lower than that- I can promise you. I’ve done this a million times- this weight loss thing- and I promised myself that this time will be my last struggle with weight.